I am writing this story because I was encouraged to do so, by a conversation with a Vajra brother – and so that one day my son Max can read it and know his story!

First, a little background before the story for those who don’t know the story of my wife and I. Anaid and I met around 2005 and dated long distance; she in California and me in Washington DC. When we met I had shared with her that I was a vajrayana practitioner and had plans to do three year retreat. She seemed intrigued and was encouraging as dharma seemed to bring out the best in me. In the years and months grew closer to the retreat – we grew closer and yet she knew we would be apart. Her trust in my retreat and certainty was strong and steady – even if she was sad at moments.

At one point when the pre-retreat had started my parents had shifted from supportive to rejecting of my retreat! They were sad, scared and concerned I had joined something like a cult or was throwing my life away. When they contacted Anaid, they somewhat indignantly asked “what do YOU think about this!?” and she calmly explained her trust and support for me. This seemed to get through to them in a way that I wasn’t able to!

While it is standard that three year retreatants don’t normally correspond – I chose to, and we stayed in contact throughout that time. I never asked Anaid to wait for me – in fact I assured her that if she felt it was time to move on or if she was hurt – I would understand. She insisted – and waited for me. At the end of my retreat Rinpoche thanked her. From then on whenever I would see him he always asked about her and praised her. In 2016 he married us in a small private ceremony at KTD. (We had another more public ceremony for family and friends.)

In the fall of 2017 my wife Anaid discovered that she was pregnant. This was a bit surprising to us at the time as medically she was told at times that it might not be possible and maybe even a health risk to her and the baby. We kept it very private until she was showing. (Initially only Khenpo, Lama Karma, and Ani Karuna Tara knew!) I told Rinpoche one evening during our annual Drupchod. I was a little concerned that he might disapprove as it might be inappropriate for a lama. However Rinpoche was very happy – and promptly produced 3 of the famous black pills of the Karmapa. There was no translator. In broken English Rinpoche said “she takes one NOW, one in labor, and one at the difficult time”. It was powerful moment and it wasn’t until I got home and explained it all to Anaid that it occurred to me “what did Rinpoche MEAN by the difficult time?”

For anyone reading who doesn’t know – the black pills are famous pills produced by the meditation of the Karmapas only. As such they have always been extremely rare and are often administered at times of death or severe illness. They are all the more rare now – as they were last publically produced by the 16th Karmapa who was Rinpoche’s master. To receive three such pills – would be extremely uncommon.

Naturally we took the first of the three pills right when I got home!

My wifes pregnancy itself was quite peaceful. She did regular lite exercise until about 2 weeks before her expected date, and only right then did she have any swelling.

The evening of the labor itself though was wrought with challenges. It seemed every encounter at the hospital we were facing shift changes and new staff and critical information and care wasn’t aligning. Doctors and nurses were late for shifts and my wife was in pain. At one point a nurse arrived considerably late to administer an epidural. However, for some reason the anaestesia moved UP her spine instead of down, numbing her entire upper body. This caused her to falsely think that she wasn’t breathing, causing her to hyperventilate and lose consciousness repeatedly. She had stopped breathing on and off for about 20 minutes. The room went from 2 nurses to about 12 and they weren’t talking. Things weren’t looking good. They kept administering different breathers. In the middle of this – she would occasionally wake up chanting the Tara mantra, at one point she told me she loved me – and that she was “sorry for everything”. I honestly thought that this was it – that she was sure she was dying and I was about to lose my wife and baby. She then asked for the black pill. Of course the doctors and nurses were like “What is she talking about!? we don’t have any black pills?!” So I promptly gave her the pill (against their wishes) and she passed out. Sometime later, she slowly awoke peacefully and while she was shaken she was able to deliver our son, Maximilliano.

Side Note: It really did seem that we would lose her. At one point while she wasn’t breathing – I messaged the news and a photo of Anaid to my retreat master Lama Karma Drodhul, and asked for him to notify Rinpoche. Minutes later he sent back videos of monasteries throughout Kham with the picture of Anaid up – the nuns and monks prayed for her in the middle of the night, one even blowing a special ritual conch. I get tears of appreciation anytime I think of this.

At this point we were overwhelmed with the trauma of this event and the whole life shift that comes from becoming new parents. We had sleepless nights, new responsibilities, and our lives were fuller than they have ever been. Anaid was an entirely new person. She has always been loving of course- but she was focused on our wee Max. She would put aside sleep, food, peace of mind – and anything else – to care for him. In short – she wasn’t sleeping enough or eating enough. One night I came home and as I was walking into our family room her body turned and twisted, severely shaking in a powerful uncontrolled seizure. The middle of the seizure she stopped breathing for a long time and turned a light greenish hue. Again – I was sure that she was dying. We of course had her rushed to the emergency room. There was a bit of amnaesia and she as very melancholy, but slowly seemed a little bit like herself after serveral days. A week later the same event repeated – but this time in her seizure she fell hitting her head somewhat and had a few scars. Each time – the emergency room couldn’t diagnose what might be causing this. We had of course promptly contacted various neurologists but the soonest appointment we could get in town was a month away! In the ER she had a third severe seizure which made the hospital much more responsive. She was later diagnosed with Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy – which thankfully she is able to medicate on a low dose and she’s made it about a year and a half seizure free.

All of that said – it was clear to me looking back that Rinpoche saw this and knew that she would have these risks and dangers ahead. While I am a “faithful Buddhist”, I also admit that I am also naturally skeptical; superstition is not my style even as a Buddhist. But if you ask me about this story – this is how I feel.

The evening of the labor itself though was wrought with challenges. It seemed every encounter at the hospital we were facing shift changes and new staff and critical information and care wasn’t aligning. Doctors and nurses were late for shifts and my wife was in pain. At one point a nurse arrived considerably late to administer an epidural. However, for some reason the anaestesia moved UP her spine instead of down, numbing her entire upper body. This caused her to falsely think that she wasn’t breathing, causing her to hyperventilate and lose consciousness repeatedly. She had stopped breathing on and off for about 20 minutes.

Afterwards when I saw Rinpoche he would continue to ask about Anaid’s health and inquire about Max, who he lovingly nicknamed “Jinpa Chung Chung” (Little Little Jinpa). Rinpoche repeatedly said that he wanted to meet Max, and gave me many toys and gifts for him. With her Anaid’s uncertain and all the duties of new parents, it took us nearly a year before we were able to travel as a family to KTD. The meeting was brief – but Rinpoche was very happy and were able to get a blessing as a family. It was good we did so when we could – as Rinpoche would display parinirvana about 2 months after.”